OOM - upstairs with Sinric

[i_am_your_host]

During Emcee's recovery in his room, he became a recluse. He couldn't find the motivation to go downstairs (too tired, too lazy, too sad, too unsure of himself), so he would ask George to see if any of his friends were around. To talk, and perhaps to let the talking lead to other things. Jay, Sinric...even Eric.

At least, he thought, he might be ready to take up his other old habits.

(He wasn't certain if he could feel Eric's presence. It might have just been wishful thinking. Or not.)

As it happens, Sinric is in the bar when George goes on this particular errand. He floats up to the long-haired blond and chirps out the sounds Emm See! at him, and moves backward toward the stairs as a gesture to follow.

Comments

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric doesn't quite purr but it's a near thing. "Would you rather I told you to stop being foolish?" It's a genuine question. "The last time I tried the outcome was... unpleasant and unkind."

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee snorts a short chuckle at that, still trailing his fingers through his hair. Somehow it chips away at the weight inside him.

"It's something I haven't heard in a while, so the notion is-- actually quite welcome. To whom did you last say it?"

[thewidewideworld]

"Athelstan." He answers a little sadly, stroking Emcee's thigh in lazy strokes. "He mused that his grief was bordering on selfishness. And I rather cruelly agreed it was. It was unkind of me and it caused a rift between us for some time."

He shifts closer to rest his head on Emcee's shoulder. "I don't want that to happen again."

[i_am_your_host]

"Oh," he says softly, quickly sobering.

He's silent for a moment and kisses the top of Sinric's head.

"I'm sorry that happened, darling. But-- it's difficult to know what to say sometimes. Tactlessness may win out over kindness and patience, especially when there is no real answer. And the fact that we don't have an answer leads to this casual cruelty."

He kisses his head again, nearer to his forehead.

"But it was a mistake, and I can't imagine you repeating it."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric tilts his head up and brushes Emcee's lips with his own. "That's why I asked first. If you need me to tell you to stop being foolish I will. But I don't think you are. Change is... complex, and only we can know what is right or true for us. Most of all when we don't know."

He shifts again to rest his head in Emcee's lap, looking up at him. "I know I feel more at ease in this moment than I have for a while."

[i_am_your_host]

"Well, I already think I'm being foolish, but it's still good to know that you think I'm not," he says with a half-chuckle. "You are right, though...change is complex, whether we have to deal with changes in the world or changes- to our selves."

He looks down at Sinric, smoothing his hair back.

"Do you really, darling?"

[thewidewideworld]

"The hardest changes are the ones that come from within. The ones that change how we see ourselves." He reaches up, rubbing Emcee's shoulder softly.

"I am." He answers with a raw and open honesty. "I'm struggling very much right now with who I am and how that changes who I am to others. But I feel at ease here, with you. Perhaps because you've never needed me to be anything but myself."

[i_am_your_host]

Tears suddenly spring to Emcee's eyes. He's been quick to cry at the littlest things lately, but this is different.

"Yes," he breathes out, nodding as if in recognition, as if truly seeing himself in a mirror and seeing his own struggles reflected.

"Yes, exactly. Exactly. Everything you say is true for me as well."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric reaches up to touch Emcee's cheek, gently stroking away the welling tears. He sits up, straddling Emcee with his dancer-lean thighs, slowly filling out again as he heals. He runs his hands softly through Emcee's hair, drawing him into a kiss.

[i_am_your_host]

Leftover tears spill down his cheeks as Sinric kisses him. Emcee kisses him back, thirsty for this, having missed this dearly. He runs his hands up his thighs, caressing them with familiarity.

"I thought I was alone in how I feel," he whispers against his lips, slightly salty with tears.

[thewidewideworld]

"As did I, my mirror." Sinric whispers, nuzzling Emcee's cheek. "Even in the arms of those I love most, I have felt alone. Perhaps there most of all." He kisses down Emcee's throat, his breath warm. "But not here, not now."

[i_am_your_host]

"And even those who care the most, though they may wish to, still cannot truly understand."

His eyelashes flutter at the touch of Sinric's lips and breath, and he tips his head to the side, burying his face in Sinric's hair, drying his tears, inhaling deeply.

"But you understand-- we understand."

[thewidewideworld]

"The shattered image reforms, not always the same way it broke." He nips lightly on Emcee's throat, then harder, feeling the desire to mark Emcee, to leave him some tangible reminder that connects him to the refection he sees. "Those scars others may not see but that change how we see ourselves."

He rears back, kissing Emcee passionately.

[i_am_your_host]

His fingertips press into the flesh of Sinric's thighs when he uses his teeth.

"And each time we are beaten down and broken, parts of us die, never to heal. But we keep forging masks to cover the scars we feel inside and out. Masks in the likeness of who we once were..."

Emcee takes Sinric's face in his hands as he returns the kiss just as passionately.

[thewidewideworld]

"Sometimes the scars are too deep and the mask doesn't fit any more." Sinric mutters between kisses, his fingers moving over the hem of Emcee's shirt. "Then we have to face who we are without it. That is where I am. Staring into the glass at a face I don't recognise."

He rears back, looking into Emcee's eyes. "But I know you see me. Just as I see you."

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee meets his eyes.

"You have changed. I have changed."

He shakes his head, his brows knitted.

"I don't want to be this person."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric stills, reaches up to smooth Emcee's hair. He smiles sadly and kisses Emcee again. Not greedily or passionately but with a love and understanding that reaches to the core.

"Be here. Be with me in this moment. Nothing but that."

[i_am_your_host]

Tears sting his eyes again at the kiss, and they fall once, streaking down his cheeks. Their lips part, and he keeps his eyes closed, trying to find his way, to himself, to Sinric, to this moment.

And he remembers when moments, when the here and now, meant something. When living was everything. It didn't matter who you were or who you became. As long as you lived.

He swallows hard, his breathing quickening as he squeezes his eyes shut against more tears. But he's cried his last for now, and when he opens them again there is a glittering spark in them, like embers struggling to catch fire.

Thrusting a hand into Sinric's hair, he cups the back of his head and pulls him into a kiss that, if Sinric weren't already straddling him, would make his knees quiver.

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric keep his arms around Emcee, keeps his forehead pressed to Emcee's. He makes no move to brush away the tears, does nothing but be there with Emcee, letting him feel what he needs to feel.

The light in Emcee's eyes when he opens them is breathtaking and he feels his breath catch, panting into the kiss as he feel the fire rush through them both. "Yes." He purrs breathlessly. "Yes!"

[i_am_your_host]

This was always who Emcee was. So much was taken from him, stripped from his very being. But he will be damned if they take this from him, too.

Emcee moves his mouth along Sinric's jaw, teeth gently scraping at the skin of his throat. A hand sweeps over his shoulder, down over his chest, caressing him through his clothes.

"Darling, I want you," he murmurs against his skin. Not a demand or a plea, but-- a statement of fact, acknowledging what draws them together as two sides of the same coin.

[thewidewideworld]

"As I want you." Sinric responds with equal fervour, pulling at Emcee's shirt in the search for skin. He arches back, offering up his throat as he presses against Emcee through their clothes.

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee breaks contact just long enough to pull his shirt off, before returning to Sinric's throat with his lips and tongue and teeth.

He slides his hands down the curve of his back. Grasping his waist, he raises his own hips underneath him, to press and grind against him. Emcee's desire can be felt quite plainly. The desire to experience pleasure again; the desire to connect.

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric moans as Emcee's hardness rubs against him, his breath hitching warmly with each brush of Emcee's teeth. He runs his hands over Emcee's chest, hinting at the brush of nails. They both need it a little rough and raw tonight.

He yanks at his sash, letting the layers of robe fall open as he tosses it onto the floor.

[i_am_your_host]

In his eagerness Emcee helps by pushing the sleeves down Sinric's arms. It feels good to touch him, to look at him as he bares himself. As they bare themselves to one another.

He dips his head, his breath falling hotly on Sinric's clavicle as he reaches down to undo the buttons on his own trousers.

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric gasps warmly as his robe falls off his shoulder, revealing one pert breast. It's always a thrill, the moment of reveal. Even with someone who knows him as well as Emcee does.

He turns to kiss Emcee's neck, lifting his weight off Emcee just enough to help Emcee get his pants open. He nips Emcee's earlobe, whispering breathless desire in his native Greek.