OOM - upstairs with Sinric

[i_am_your_host]

During Emcee's recovery in his room, he became a recluse. He couldn't find the motivation to go downstairs (too tired, too lazy, too sad, too unsure of himself), so he would ask George to see if any of his friends were around. To talk, and perhaps to let the talking lead to other things. Jay, Sinric...even Eric.

At least, he thought, he might be ready to take up his other old habits.

(He wasn't certain if he could feel Eric's presence. It might have just been wishful thinking. Or not.)

As it happens, Sinric is in the bar when George goes on this particular errand. He floats up to the long-haired blond and chirps out the sounds Emm See! at him, and moves backward toward the stairs as a gesture to follow.

Comments

[thewidewideworld]

"I don't know. Both threads are strong but Milliways tangled things up. Maybe you will have one of these futures. Maybe because of the doors through here, you can have both. I can't tell for sure. But I know the path you have chosen would have lead to your death, but Milliways changed that. Your broken thread was bound back together so now you can go on."

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee is silent for a while.

And then he embraces Sinric, shutting his eyes tight, and lets out a ragged breath into his hair.

[thewidewideworld]

"I'm sorry." Sinric whispers, limp and tired in Emcee's arms.

[i_am_your_host]

"No," he whispers in reply, still holding him. "Thank you, darling. Thank you so much for doing this for me."

[thewidewideworld]

Part of him wishes he hasn't. He can't get the camps out of his head. Instead he curls tight in Emcee's arms and focuses on here and now. "Milliways wanted you to live. That's why the door came." At least that want he hopes. The seeing gets complicated around the doors.

[i_am_your_host]

"Perhaps. But I have another chance now. A chance to make things right."

He had promised himself that he would keep his friends safe, and now it's up to him to not waste this precious opportunity.

Opening his eyes, he cups Sinric's face in his hands.

"Will you be all right, darling? Do you need anything?"

[thewidewideworld]

He nods, trying to assure Emcee he'll be alright. Trying to assure himself. "Some more water and some rest. I'll recover. I understand if you need to go, to think about what you've learnt."

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee reaches over for the glass of water and holds it to Sinric's lips again.

"I'll stay with you," he says. "I don't want to leave you like this."

[thewidewideworld]

He's steady enough to take the glass this time, drinking slowly but deeply. "Thank you. I'd be vet grateful if you stayed. I'm sure I'll be alright after some rest."

[i_am_your_host]

"Of course, darling," he assures him. "Let me refill this for you."

Emcee takes the glass back to the bathroom. He's a little numb yet shaken at the same time, his thoughts swirling in a storm. He will indeed need time to think. But Sinric comes first now.

And he can't help feeling guilty for asking him to go through this.

He returns to Sinric's side and puts the glass within reach.

"Do you want me to hold you?"

[thewidewideworld]

"Please?" He'd very much like to held, just a little while.

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee nods and settles in beside him, folding his arms around him in an embrace that he won't break anytime soon.

George has been hovering discreetly around the corner, sad and concerned. When Emcee catches sight of him, he floats forward, and eventually lands on one of the pillows near Sinric's head. He begins to emit a soft hum, like white noise, to help Sinric focus and sleep. He'd done that many times for Emcee.

Emcee kisses Sinric's temple.

"Thank you, Sinric," he whispers against his skin. "You have given me so much more hope than I had before."

His efforts won't be in vain.

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric curls in Emcee's arms, reaching out to give George a little pat of thanks.

It doesn't take long before he slips into a shallow, restless sleep, his mind still trying to process all he saw and heard and felt.

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee remains awake. Even as his eyelids droop and close, his mind, too, is restless.

He survives down the line, and this is what matters. He would have for certain died if the door to Milliways had not appeared. Or, if he had decided to stay in Germany, he would have lived but suffered in a concentration camp. It is this idea that keeps him awake.

The things Sinric must have seen, the things he must have felt in his vision. It was never meant for him, for either of them. That was the danger in asking. In looking too deeply. Not so much physical, but the scars and shadows it leaves on the mind.

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric sleeps for a couple of hours, looking a little less pale when he wakes. He smoothes a hand through Emcee's hair.

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee sometimes dozes off lightly, but he doesn't stir too much or leave Sinric's side. So when Sinric wakes and runs his fingers through his hair, his eyelids flutter open easily.

He inhales deeply and stretches a little, before kissing his temple.

"How are you feeling, darling?"

[thewidewideworld]

"Better." He nods, "Less shaken. How are you?" He rests a hand on Emcee's side, stroking down his ribs like a cat as he stretches.

[i_am_your_host]

"Better as well," he murmurs, also with a nod. But his brow furrows slightly, and he touches Sinric's cheek.

"I'm so sorry."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric shakes his head and kisses Emcee's cheek lightly. "I should have known I couldn't control it yet. It's not your fault."

[i_am_your_host]

"Even so. In times of such uncertainty, the thing we want most is clarity. A set path laid down in front of us. Someone to show you what to do, how to do it. I was lost, and desperate to see. But darling, know that I will take what you have told me and use it. You will not have done this for nothing."

[thewidewideworld]

"It was never for nothing, my brother. It was for you." He promises, fingers curling lightly in Emcee's hair. "I'm glad I was able to find light for you."

[i_am_your_host]

"Thank you," he breathes on a sigh before kissing his lips.

"You will keep this a secret, won't you?"

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric frowns. "Who would I tell?" He seems genuinely confused by the question.

[i_am_your_host]

Emcee frowns at himself and shakes his head, self-deprecatingly.

"I-- I don't know. I've just been rather-- paranoid around the bar. I don't feel as safe here as I once used to. It's probably all in my head, but the way I've been living at home, hiding, keeping my mouth shut, looking over my shoulder-- it's not been easy to shake that."

[thewidewideworld]

Sinric frowns and pulls Emcee into his arms. He kisses Emcee's neck, his voice soft with honesty. "You are safe with me. I will not speak to any other of what I saw. Your future is your and yours alone."